“You’re going to be okay Momma, I love you”, the last words I said to her as I walked, out of the hospital only to find out a few hours later she was gone… I play this scene over and over again in my mind and it hurts me more and more, and now the pain really set in today.
I’ve been running track since 7th grade, this season will be my 5th season running and she was there for me since day one (except of course when Leah had a softball game). She was the only one who supported me and actually enjoyed watching me compete. I now have to start my 11th grade season alone, without her, and it is absolutely killing. I get the same encouraging words from everyone: “she’s always going to be with you”, “she is looking down on you”, “she is so proud of you”…
No one understands… my Momma was my everything. Everything I did, I did for her. When I ran, I ran to make her proud, to make her see that her “sissy boo boo” was going somewhere. That’s what she wanted and as I lay here knowing I should be sleeping for my meet I can’t do it because she isn’t here. I feel like I can’t accomplish anything else because I can’t do it without her by my side…
But I need her to see that I’m not a baby, she would hate to see me crying the way I am. Momma always hated to hear me say “I can’t do it”, so for me to lay here and say I can’t do it, that I can’t race would make her cringe. She needs to know that she did not raise a baby, so tomorrow Momma I’m going to run. I’m going to try and place in everything, try my hardest, and I’m going to win for you.
Shine down on me and give me hope. I’ll be waiting. I love you so much Momma, I’ll see you soon ❤
“There goes my hero, watch him as he goes. There goes my hero he’s ordinary.” (Some lyrics from “My Hero” by the foo fighters, her favorite band of all time) ❤
I know, I know… what a sob story, so cliche. So to end my little blog I wanted to share some of my favorite memories of her as she supported me as I participated as a track and field athlete:
*I was her Forest… “Run Kelseyyyy, Run!”
*She nicknamed me semi 🚛🚚
*She carried me home after my first competitive 800 because I couldn’t walk nor breath
*She held me and cried with me when I broke the school record
*she loved my thunder thighs and my “broad man shoulders”
*She loved watching me run in general
*She always gave me “constructive advice” on how to deal with my nemesis… 😂
*She put up with my complaining, bitching, and bickering when I lost a race (Not too sure how she managed that…)
*she was is my number one fan ❤
Baby Kels :) 
As everyone already said, your Mamma is gonna be there with you, at everything you do. She’ll be so proud of you, when you do your best. She’ll be with each of you, (even if it’s the exact same time,) whenever you need her, or just want to talk to her.
Thank you so much.
Best of luck at your meet tomorrow!!! As you’re running and in your zone, listen …. you will hear your momma yelling “run Kelseyyyy run”